Call Me Gold Digger or Whatever but I Won’t Split the Bill With a Man
I just have a standard
Love & Relationship Journey
I just have a standard
Doesn’t matter how the world flipped and spun, how evolved we became. I don’t care if women have equality. I won’t split the bill with a man.
Giving and sharing are something else but if splitting a living cost is a condition for being together, I am out.
Because that is not the kind of man I want.
Call me a gold digger, chose money over love, or whatever. That is not what my husband thinks of me.
He loves and adores me. He is happy to provide without me trading anything in return.
My presence and my happiness are enough for him to be motivated to achieve his goal.
I used to be that woman who worked hard and proved my existence in the world, showing men that I was worthy of love and I could pay the same as a man could. I did not know my action came from a lack of worth.
Because I felt unworthy I attracted insecure men. Men who expected me to show up and were intimidated if I could. I used to spoil my ex-lover with a luxury holiday, and an expensive gift. Sadly, love didn’t last.
When the relationship failed I took it that I was not good enough but did not get a hint that the problem was I gave in too much into the relationship. I stepped into masculinity and became their competitor rather than their lover.
The more I gave, the harder love seemed to last. Either I didn’t feel fulfilled or he suddenly lost interest.
That was my love mystery I could not solve until I received advice.
Stop paying for men and never split the bill with them.
Alongside with hundred and one what to do and not to do, I followed it blindly because whatever I tried didn’t seem to work.
It was not easy to sit still in the restaurant waiting for guys to pay for a date. I had to bite my mouth not to offer to pay and held my hand tight not to reach out for my wallet or else disappear.
I repeated internally, “I am worth it” and suppressed the fear that they might not ask me out again inside.
Yes, some men became distanced. I never heard from them again but some men stayed. They did invite me again and again. They treated me like a princess that I thought was only real in Disneyland.
My perception of my self-worth changed. It has nothing to do with what I can do or what I put on the table.
I am worthy because I am.
When that realization synced in, I felt safe to lean into my femininity which blossomed like a flower in spring. I felt content and connected with my whole being as a woman.
Femininity is a big topic to flame in a short sentence. But if I tried to give it a definition, it is the art of doing less, letting go, surrendering, and trusting the process.
Doing less to make the love and relationship work,
Letting go if the guy is not stepping up to what I deserve.
Surrendering to the divine plan, not my plan
Trusting that there will be “the one” for me.
I began to attract better-quality men, masculine men. I no longer wondered what was wrong with those men who never returned because they were not the kind of men I was looking for anyway.
I want masculine men who know exactly what they want and who will not get on cold feet just to pay a bill.
When I met my now husband, at the time, he was a young handsome boy on his vacation.
His beauty made it so easy for him to connect with women. He had never tried so hard. His longest relationship was never longer than six months.
He was not a playboy but girls never kept him interested for long and his passion for travel was much stronger.
When we met, I was well aware of how powerful femininity is. I let him lead our relationship.
Believe it or not, I had never invited him, let alone never even start a conversation and of course, I had never paid a bill.
I liked him very much but I would let him go if he would not step into his masculinity and lead our relationship all the way through.
He admitted that he was confused but he persisted and made it to the end. We are a happily married couple.
When women tap into their femininity, it awakens the masculinity in men. It gives men a goal and motivation to achieve whatever their minds set for.
The word “gold digger” is overused by a man who gets rejected by a woman that knows what she wants, especially if what she wants is a relationship with financial stability.
I don’t mind one bit if you think I am. I am just a woman who knows my worth in a relationship with a man who believes in himself.
My name is Lita Jane, spreading Love, sharing Relationship tips, and sneak peeks into the Sexuality and Spiritual realm.
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