Hi friends,
I hope you are all doing amazingly. It has been a while since you heard from me.
Over the past months, I have been quietly trying to figure out where I am heading. Slowly, something is becoming clearer.
Alongside everything else, I have been developing a cinematic musical novel called Good Girls Cry, Bad Girls Mourn — a story about a young woman searching for love, facing betrayal, and walking unknowingly through the same path her mother once walked. Beneath everything is a little girl still searching for the answer to one painful question: why did her mother leave?
I created a separate newsletter dedicated to this project, so if you are curious, you are welcome to follow that journey there.
For this space, I wanted to create something different: a small weekly journal of my own journey. Imagine us sitting together as old friends, sharing what happened during the week, what has been on my mind, and what I have been discovering along the way. I feel like this little corner is starting to take shape — and I like it.
Occasionally, I will also share article on Medium.
So let’s begin where I left off.
Many of you may already know, but let me remind you: I am now living in Cyprus. My husband and I moved here from Andorra seven months ago.
Since then, my life has been a journey of searching for belonging.
I thought I would find my new tribe here — people who would make me feel at home, understood, and accepted. But instead, I kept finding walls in front of me.
And if all of that wasn’t enough, we lost our cat.
He came with us from Andorra to Cyprus, and only a few months later, he was hit by a car.
I was devastated.
He was the most loving, gentle cat I have ever known. The kind who would quietly curl up beside you and somehow make everything feel a little lighter. I cried what felt like a river of tears, and there hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t missed him.
And strangely enough, through the grief, the disappointments, and all those walls I kept running into, I slowly found my way back to myself.
One of the deepest wounds that kept returning was my longing for my mother — something I thought I had worked through, but perhaps something I will continue to carry in different forms throughout my life.
Something inside me finally realized that the little girl within me had been holding onto the hope that she would one day find her mother in someone she met along the way.
After many deep conversations with myself and what felt like endless waves of grief, we finally came to an agreement: to stop searching for her in everyone else and pour that energy into creating my animated video, Are You My Mommy?—the story of a fully grown woman wandering through life, mistaking everyone she meets for her mother.
Something shifted after creating it. The desperate need to find my tribe outside myself slowly began transforming into a quiet curiosity about what life might bring instead.
And because of that, I found a local writing community where I could connect with people simply as people.
For the first time in a long time, I did not mistake them for my mother.
And that opened a completely different kind of connection—one with far less expectation and much more freedom.
The very first piece of writing I shared with them was about how I ended up finding them: Be Slut, Belong Everywhere.
It was inspired by a lesson I learned from my tantric community. A “slut” doesn’t expect one man—or one person—to fulfill every need she has. She receives what each person genuinely has the capacity to offer. She knows what she wants, and she isn’t afraid to ask for it.
Instead of expecting one friend, one partner, one community, or one place to become everything, I allow ourselves to receive different kinds of love, support, and connection from different people.
That will be my mantra from now on. 😉
Lastly, I want to thank each and every one of you for being part of my tribe.
Writing this letter to you feels like coming home.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped thinking of this newsletter as just an email list. I started thinking of it as a place where I can sit down with old friends and share a little piece of my week.
Thank you for being here. It truly means more than you know.
Until next week,
With love,
Lalita Janette