I Cracked a Code of How To Stop My Hubby’s Complaint
I Cracked a Code of How To Stop My Hubby’s Complaint
My ears were grateful
Love & Relationship Journey
My ears were grateful
This is what happened.
On the plane
The first Baby crying triggered another baby to cry too and that triggered the first baby to scream.
Together triggered my hubby to be angry and he complained.
Then I got triggered too.
It was a loop that I didn’t know how to end it.
I have been trying many ways to cheer him up, giving a million reasons why those babies or whatever things deserve to be understood and compassion.
He continues to complain.
It never worked.
Finally, I got an insight into what those occurrences are suppose to teach me.
I tried a different approach.
The same scenario, not on the same plane, started with babies crying.
As predicted, hubby complained.
Me:
“My darling I know it is very painful to hear a baby crying.
I have compassion for you. I really do.
While you are trigged by those babies, I am not different I got triggered when hearing you complaining about them.
Please know, it is very ok for what you feel and you can continue to feel the way you feel.
However please don’t complain about it to me because I feel as suffer as you are.”
Hubby got the message. He stopped complaining.
I was glad that he didn’t take it personally.
I exhaled out of relief.
I don’t need to help him.
To be honest …
I have never helped him. All my effort in the past was to protect my peace.
It was all for me.
Those efforts were useless because it was not sincere.
All I focused on was changing him instead of accepting his feeling. I didn’t even have compassion toward him. He didn’t feel like I heard him, or felt what he felt.
Without knowing, many times we offered others people’s help or advice out of our own interests. We got frustrated if the situation didn’t change or improve the way we wanted because it was never about them in the first place. It was about us.
Noting will until we become conscious of our actions and act on them with authenticity.
I no longer need to change him. I felt him and was clear about where my boundary was.
He still was annoyed by those babies screaming but I was no longer annoyed by him.
My name is Lita Jane,
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