I am greeting you once again. I hope everyone is doing great and safe where you are. It has been quite some time since I didn't shout out to you, and I am thank you for your patience and waiting for me. I like to use this opportunity to let you know what I have been through and where I am in my life.
Let's start a little bit before the whole pandemic thing. My lover and I were traveling. We were so fortunate that we could visit 24 cities 13 countries within a year or two.
Something started to shift big time, but we weren't aware. My lover's mom passed away unexpectedly. We were in Surabaya, Indonesia, at that moment. It was hard to go through grief, especially when you were a thousand miles away from the person you lost. The guilt played a big part in him. I have never seen my partner, who is always at his best, lost all his way and crashed a big time.
He flew immediately to France alone because I could not follow him. I had to go back to Thailand, applying visa feeling desperate, fear, and worry. Million negative thoughts came to my mind. The second seems like a lifetime.
Eventually, after a week, I got the visa. I flew the very next day to France to support my lover's transition in life.
After that, I went for a short trip to India with my family for a spiritual journey that we had planned long ago.
I met my lover again in Australia for a new year's celebration. The Covid pandemic started to affect Thailand. The country after China who got affected. We discover Vanuatu (The small island/county near Australia), so we went there. The custom was hesitating to let me in as I hold a Thai passport. I am glad that they did.
After a month in Vanuatu and a crazy experience I had ever had in my life. A covid pandemic has become a serious problem. Many countries started to react, including Vanuatu, Australia, Thailand, and France.
Covid hit Europe big time. It was way stronger as it did to Thailand. We decided to come back to Thailand, wishing a situation would be better and back to normal traveling as plan, but it didn't.
Once we arrived in Thailand, Thailand shut its border right after. We felt safe. We made it in time.
We stayed most of the time in a hotel. It was nearly two months that we were waiting. Eventually, we had to accept that Covid would not be resolved in this short period. We had to move on with our life.
The moment of separation has come. I have to let my lover went back to France by himself to manage the house and everything he inherited from his family. I wish I could join him, but France's border was shut down and only accepted their residency. We both were in fear as we didn't know when to meet again, knowing that he would not be able to return once he left Thailand, but life must go on.
At the same moment, a childhood trauma I run away from arriving at the surface. My sister and I had a huge argument, and we have never spoken since. I hope time will heal the pain we both cause for each other. I was in pain and miserable. I also wrote an article about it in Medium.
How I Stop Being Guilty and Live Free From My Dysfunctional Family
Example of One Could Love Another and Still Respect Oneself
The link is below
https://medium.com/live-your-life-on-purpose/how-i-stop-being-guilty-and-live-free-from-my-dysfunctional-family-79ea9136d526?sk=c1d31701e18cd29c152a49dbc9b2027b
However, I thank that it had happened. I transformed through pain, and I am happy with who I am even though the situation around my family doesn't seem to be improved. I knew that it started to be healed the way it should be.
As the healing process started, I was back to my beloved island, my second family, and rest well. Again I felt at peace.
Finally, France announced to open the border, and I reunited with my love again. I knew that things would not be easy, but I was glad to see him again and be any help during the difficult time.
We were preparing the house he inherits for sale. It was a house over 100 years old in France. There was a million job to be done, the over-accumulation over time and generations.
The emotions and pains hidden in each item were resolved and healed through every sweat of our hard work. Finally, it is over. We sold a house and handed it to a new owner whom we believe deserves its charm and undoubtedly will continue to love and cherish this home.
I would never forget that I found a passion for writing in my own mother language at this home. I started to write a novel in Thai, and I finished book one. I am so holy happy about it, and I am continuing book 2. They were the story before Wild love Holy Island which I am originally writing in English.
I also wrote another mini-series, "Things in the 100 years old house of France," for a memory of the place where was the beginning and the end of many stories.
The old picture of a home in France
It is only available in Thai, but I feel that these stories would want to be told in English, which I will once I finish the whole series.
In time, please sign up with your email in the link below to join my growing family. I will continue to share my story and my love with you.
That was what was happening to me, and here I am, on a new chapter in life. Free like a bird finding its nest.
Our plan is to move to Andorra, a little tiny country between France and Spain which we are currently actively searching for a new home.
So by now, you knew what has happened in my life and where I am. Thank you for reading till here and continue to support my journey. Your love is what I need to keep me going.
Love
LitaJane