Live & Learn: A 21-Day Journey Bidding Farewell to Procrastination
Delve Deep Within Myself, and Here What I Have to Share
In my latest story on starting live videos to confront my perfectionist phobia, and attempting to end procrastination syndrome, I deserve a round of applause. I managed to go live for 21 consecutive days! Here’s my report:

First, if you are expected to hear that I gained views, followers, and be monetized. Sorry guys! for any disappointment.
Embarrass to say, my videos got hardly any views. But fear not, for I’ve journeyed far within myself, and I have insights to share.
The first few days were the toughest. Every day, I wrestled with the urge to quit. What was the point, I wondered? I don’t have big followers. Who would bother watching? However, one thing I pride myself on is my commitment. Once I decide to do something, there’s no turning back.
So, I persisted with my live sessions. Surprisingly, words flowed effortlessly, despite my initial uncertainties. I found myself immersed in the moment, even shedding tears on camera — an unexpected vulnerability.
I thought I did good! Oh God, I do. But the lack of viewers shattered my expectations. Not a single soul tuned in. It felt like a downward spiral. Why couldn’t anyone see or hear me? It dredged up memories of childhood emotional neglect, where validation was hard to come by.
Off-camera, as the poignant melody of my favorite Disney movie, Mulan, filled the room, I gazed into my reflection.
“Who is that girl I see,
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection Someone I don’t know?”
(Reflection Song by Christina Aguilera)
Tears streamed down my face, aching for the love and attention I had yearned for in my youth. In that moment, I offered comfort to my inner child, acknowledging and embracing her pain.
But here’s the silver lining: I’m growing. Though I can’t alter the past or choose different parents, I can become the nurturing presence I needed back then.
So, I embraced that wounded inner child.
“No matter no one sees you, hear you. I am here! Seeing you, hearing you. You’re worthy,”
I whispered to her. With that reassurance, I continued my live sessions, seeking validation from within.
For 21 days straight, I persevered. Each day, I grew more comfortable, appearing unprepared, clad in pajamas, without makeup, and simply speaking from the heart. After each session, I listened to myself, offering the affirmations I craved. I even left comments on my own videos, a gesture of self-appreciation.
Though these efforts didn’t boost my follower count, they catalyzed profound personal growth. I embarked on a healing journey of self-discovery, loosening the grip of perfectionism.
On the 22nd day, I went live again, sharing my passion for writing and my journey to become a writer — not to overcome anything, but simply because it brings me joy.
I took a big step forward by creating the first video to promote my upcoming FREE biography novel, “Good Girls Cry, Bad Girls Moan,” after procrastinating for so long.
In the end, I realized that all my inner child craved was not anything external, but rather, my own acknowledgment and acceptance of her as she is. It’s also not about the numbers or seeking validation from others but embracing authenticity and finding fulfillment by staying true to oneself.
Thank you again for reading me, seeing me, and accepting me. If you like to see where my journey unfolds I invited you to sign up for my newsletter!
See you soon!
Lalita Janette