Love, Lust, and Young Broken Girl

Rescue me from the pain of childhood emotional neglect

Rescue me from the pain of childhood emotional neglect

Picture of Author When She Was Young

I am getting lost on the island. No, not the way, but the mind.

I got tested and tempted by what I stand for in a romantic relationship. I was not looking for anything romantic and even I tried to make myself very low-key, showing up in only meditation, art, and a writing workshop, nothing related to Tantra or sexuality, no cuddle puddle and bra bra bra. You know what I mean.

Somehow men still managed to get in touch with me. Perhaps, this island is filled with a lot of traumatised men who are attracted to only unavailable women, or else the Scorpio that sits right next to Venus in my astrology chart planned all these encounters.

I am not gonna lie. I was not annoyed by any means. Actually, I was quite enjoying it. I love attention. I love to be seen, be heard, and be loved especially by men.

But they were a bit too late, I am married, happily married and I am not looking for any romance to fill in the gap.

Even though I could not and I will not fulfill anyone’s wish I couldn’t help wishing them to keep attracted to me and perhaps pursue me.

Now you see how lost I am. I sat in confusion asking myself why.

What the fu@k was wrong with me?

I went into meditation for an answer. When my mind was still then I saw, the broken young girl inside of me. She felt neglected, unseen, unheard, and unloved during her childhood. She suffered from childhood emotional neglect. The new term I just learned. Those attentions from men filled the void in her heart.

For many nights, I listened to her, cried with her, and validated how she felt.

I whispered to her.

“You have me. I see you. I love you and you are accepted.”

I am lost but I am glad I found her and we will find the way out of here.

Writing during Write Night Koh Phangan, the theme was “I am getting lost on the island.”

I have been crying for many nights feeling the pain of childhood emotional trauma. Don’t be pitiful of me but join me to celebrate this moment of realization.

Finally, I found her, my inner child.
Finally, I heard her.
Finally, I came to rescue her.

I devoted myself to her healing and finding her true voice. Please shine the love on her.

My name is Lita Jane, spreading Love, sharing Relationship tips, and sneak peeks into the Sexuality and Spiritual realm.

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