My Happiness Is My Business, Not My Lover’s Responsibility
This is a story of my birthday
Love & Relationship Journey
This is a story of my birthday
It was My birthday. Time flies too fast but I am happy getting wiser and more content than when I was younger.
On my birthday, I used to feel excited, anxious, and anticipation because it was the day I validated my worth and how significant I was to others, especially my loved ones.
Often, I was disappointed and my expectations were not met.
But everything changed because of one surprise on my birthday a few years back.
I was waiting for a special treat from my lover at the time. Midnight passed, no text message, no call, and the next morning were the most silent morning ever.
That was perhaps my surprise, he forgot.
I felt so small, unloved, and insignificant. I sat in front of the mirror and cried. As I looked into my reflection, I heard my inner child crying.
“Why don’t you make it a special day for us? Why wait for love from someone else? All I want is you.”
It hit me. It was my birthday. I could make it a wonderful day. I did not wait any longer. I got on my best dress, carefully put on some make-up, and went to Sunday’s ecstatic dance. Where I lived at that time was where a hippy spiritual community resided.
There were many people on the dance floors and many of whom I knew. Usually, I don’t like to tell people about my birthday.
I avoided attention or I just wanted to see if someone truly cared to ask and remember it. Again I just wanted proof that I was special to someone.
How ridiculous I was when I rarely remembered anyone’s birthday and it did not mean they were not special to me.
That day, I decided to do something unusual. I told people I randomly danced into that it was my birthday and gave them a chance to celebrate with me. They wish me a happy birthday. It felt good.
One of them did not stop there. At the end of the dancing circle, she went to a microphone and announced my birthday.
Imagine, I was in the middle of over a hundred people who were high on energy receiving blessings. I felt overwhelmed by love.
Many more amazing events were to follow.
I had a breakthrough. I don’t need permission to be happy. My happiness is my responsibility, not my lover, friends, or family. I am special with or without anyone’s validation.
I no longer feel anxious and anticipation about my birthday. I asked myself what do I want and I give it to myself.
I no longer expect a surprise from my loved one. I am glad to have him by my side. His presence is the best gift I could ever ask for.
This year we spent my birthday decorating our Christmas trees and went to a special Japanese restaurant we wanted to go to for so long but saved for this special occasion.
The next day, I threw a small party with my friends.
Then I think of renewing my closet, getting rid of useful unflattering cloth, and giving myself a sexy new vibe.
That was my birthday.
My name is Lita Jane, spreading Love, sharing Relationship tips, and sneak peeks into the Sexuality and Spiritual realm.
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