The Day I Realized I Didn’t Need Their Applause
A Personal Journey from Seeking Validation to Finding Inner Worth
“I finished writing the first draft of my book—140,000 words,” I said, the words spilling out like a hidden treasure finally unearthed. My heart fluttered with anticipation, hoping their light would join mine in celebration. But their eyes flickered away, and one of them, after a moment’s pause, asked absently, “What’s it about?”
For the first time, I dared to believe they might truly care. My breath caught as I began to answer, pride swelling in my chest. Yet before I could say more than a few words, their attention shifted—to a phone, to their own thoughts, to anywhere but me. The moment crumbled, brittle and sharp, leaving me lonelier than I’d ever felt while alone.
As I sat there, a brief, familiar voice crept into my mind: “Prove your success to them. Show them how far you’ve come, how much you’ve achieved. Then they’ll see you. Then they’ll finally care.”
Some voices are louder than truth.
They wear the mask of desire,
but underneath it lies a lie.
For a second, I almost believed it. It was the same voice I had listened to for years—driving me to measure my worth by my accomplishments, chasing success as a currency for love. It was a seductive thought, blinding me to believe success was the answer to all my emotional hunger.
“No! I won’t believe it anymore.” I fought with that voice, arguing within myself. “I don’t need to prove my worth. Their lack of connection isn’t my fault. I’m not a reflection of anyone’s limitations.” The internal tug-of-war lasted a while, but it felt like an eternity.
I searched for love
in applause,
in success,
in the eyes of those
who could not see me.
I shared this story with my husband that evening. His face tightened with pain for me, mirroring the ache I had carried out of that gathering. “You shouldn’t see them anymore,” he said firmly. His love wrapped around me like a shield, but it was my own heart whispering the truth: It’s time to release them. Come Back to Me, Lalita is the book I wrote—a message for my own soul.
Now, I return,
not to their approval,
but to myself—
to the quiet truth of my worth,
to the light that needs no audience.
I am releasing you, the false belief. I let you go, just as I let go of those who are not blind but cannot see, who are not deaf but cannot hear. I let you go.
Letting go isn’t a loss; it’s a clearing. By releasing what no longer serves me, I make space for what truly belongs. I am pouring my attention inward, rooting deeply into myself, finding the best friend within who will always celebrate my successes. The right people won’t need me to prove my worth. They’ll see it, because they’ll see me.
To anyone who struggles to be seen or understood by those around you: this is your reminder to come back to yourself. I wrote this song out of my longing to be seen, but now I’m coming back to me. I hope you enjoy it.
Lyric,
I spent years measuring my worth in every trophy I could find
Thinking that success and praise would fill the void inside
But your silence cut me deeper than all the battles I’d been in
And I finally saw the truth beneath the noise within
A spark ignites in the emptiest space
A voice that leads me to a kinder place
No longer bound by a need to perform
I’m letting go and finding peace in the storm
No more chasing silhouettes I cannot hold
No more painting pictures on a wall so cold
I’m not the sum of all these things you refuse to see
I release the false belief—Come back to me
Some voices are louder than truth
They wear the mask of desire
But under that mask is a lie
And I say, “No, you can’t use me anymore”
In the quiet, I call in love that doesn’t need a stage
Love that breathes in every line
I’ve written on the page
No proof required for a heart that’s truly free
I’m finally coming home to me
No more chasing silhouettes I cannot hold
No more painting pictures on a wall so cold
I’m not the sum of all these things you refuse to see
I let your shadows go, and I come back to me
I come back to me, Lalita… Where the light needs no audience to shine I come back to me… And in this love, I finally find I’m already enough—come back to me.
Love
Lalita Janette